Surviving Complex Traumas

This week I spent time with other child advocates learning about children who endure complex trauma. Trauma is considered complex when abuse or witnessing abuse happens more than once. For years, expert therapists have tried to give effects of long term abuse and violence a term for better research and understanding. Post Tramadic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was often the closest way to explain the effects of serial abuse, violence and stress on a child. But to diagnose someone with PTSD, they must "fit in," to certain specific categories and sub categories. Children are not mature enough or developed enough to be properly diagnosed with PTSD although the effects are similar. We learned what takes place biologically in and to a child's brain development when there is compex trauma. Their brains tend to shut down to preserve itself. The brain goes into survival mode, which means when a child is being abused or is witness to violence again and again, their brain shuts down development while it is in survival mode. There are several therapies to help children overcome the emotional and physical fall out of abuse and neglect. The therapist we worked with has been helping children for 30 years now. She said in spite of the horrific acts some of these young ones have lived through from family members, they always want to go back to to those abusers. Every time. As heart breaking as it is, the innate need to belong and to be loved and to be with their abusers is so strong, they almost always want to go back home, even if it is unsafe.

Welcome Lisa!

Lisa Sonnenberg is the new Mrs. Illinois America! She is also an absolute doll! Lisa found me through Facebook and asked me for guidance as she prepared for Mrs. Illinois. She is such a dynamic person AND a mother to FOUR young ones (and a killer six pack.) She has not only been like a sponge and soaking up advice, but she has such a great presence about her. So when we were in Atlantis, I was sooo thrilled the international texts were finding me, letting me know she had WON! Lisa, you are in for a fantastic year. You, your husband Scott and your four sweet children are going to have so many great memories of your time as Mrs. Illinois America 2012 and perhaps even Mrs. America 2013!You've worked so hard~enjoy it!

Farewell to a Fantastic Man~

This week we lost a dear family member, Uncle Ulu. Ulu Grosbard leaves our world a more beautiful place place and his work as a director on Broadway and on film will remain a way to continue just some of his legacy. There are some wonderful articles about his life and work. A favorite is from the NY Times. 1) Ulu directing the marvelous Meryl Streep

A bad break...or a couple of fractures later...

The motto here, as I have heard dozens of times now, is "It could've been a lot worse." Okay, fine, whatever. It happens often to riders and normally you dust yourself off and get back on to end the ride on a better note while retaining some bit of confidence. That would not happen on this Friday. Instantly after I fell, it felt like I was either having back labor or massive lower back spasms. My first thought was not of the pain, but of my husband. How would I explain this to him as he has never really been a fan my horse habit. How would he react? My poor mom got the first call. Then calls to Michelle and Deanna. Jennifer would have also had the pleasure, but was out of town. I am sure none of them could understand me through it all. I barely understood myself! After refusing to be taken to the hospital (I know, real bright, huh?) I found myself driving to the hospital where I then called John. I swear I lost ten years in the parking lot as I called his number. He met me there. We were told I fractured my L1 and L2 vertebrae and needed a CAT scan. FANTASTIC. The poor techs told me to be still, but I couldn't stop shaking from all the sobbing. I am not a pretty crier, mind you. My poor husband asked, "Is it from the pain?" No. That I could handle. It was the prospect of not riding again. Crazy, huh? As much as he hates it, he has...so far...agreed to let me continue. Of course, I have been told by the orthopedic surgeon that will be in three months from now. THREE MONTHS??? Better than never though. 1)The two squares with the ridges are where the breaks are from landing on my butt. 2)Legs. We think he pinched a nerve after landing from a jump which likely caused him to buck...me off. He's still my boy! 3)My back brace...with "STIRRUPS"...to tighten it down. Wish these stirrups were on a saddle.

What Can You Tell Me?

Today I was at the College of DuPage to help the North Surburban Law Enforcement Academy with their media training. I have been lucky enough to do the training since my days at Fox and before Ali was even born. And it was my first time inside the newly constructed Homeland Security Building. Wow! It is SPECTACULAR! This is where law enforecement classes and crime labs are housed. There are so many high-tech gadgets here I can't recall it all! The classrooms and labs are convertible to change as needed in terms of various types of evidence collection etc. Mock crime scenes can change lighting, there are sound effects and even fog can be used to help future officers get more practical tactical training. Cameras are able to capture how students work in certain situations with lasers to follow the action. I know, I am doing the facility such a huge disservice in its description. Much of the building comes from what is used by the FBI and DuPage is now THE example for other campuses. In a foyer, they have a 13 foot steel beam from one of the trade towers. It is compelling and rattling to see such an enormous piece of steel that has been peeled back, much like a banana, from the force of what happened on 911.

Da Bulls!

Today we took John and Ali to their first Bulls game and what a way to go! I have recently had the chance to get to know a Mrs. Illinois America contestant who wanted some insight for her first ever pageant. Lisa Sonnenberg has become a bit of a friend as well. Her husband, Scott, works for the Bulls and they invited up to a game in one of the boxes. The box could not have been cooler!Lisa and Scott have four of the most beautiful children too. It was such fun, even though Johnny spiked a fever and had to leave before the final buzzer. Thank you Lisa and Scott

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Lessons Learned

This weekend I was part of clinic by the well-known and respected Julie Winkel. (Thank you honey!) She is a high level judge and well known for riding. It was a priviledge to learn from her expertise in the hunter/jumper world.Let me tell you, she is grace under pressure. You would never have known only a few short weeks ago, she lost her home, a barn and a grand prix field to the recent fires in Reno, NV. Luckily the rest of Maplewood Stables, which include 8 live-in interns (one is Lauren DiTallo-my trainer's daughter)and 80 horses are okay given the 80 MPH winds that day. Her decades of awards and memorabilla are gone and only her riding boots made it out of the home. And so, much like the cliche, she pulled herself up by those boot straps and spent time with us in Illinois. And now, she is off to judge in Wellington, Florida.
1)Julie Winkel
2)Part of Maplewood Stables after the forest fires.